I came across this journal entry from August 5, 2010 today. I wrote it after a discussion with my missional community (group of people from my church who have committed to living lives alongside each other just like family). We were talking about lies we believe about God and narrowed it down to two main lies: 1 - That God is weak and doesn't really care when people do bad things to hurt others, and 2 - That God is hard-hearted and detached, without compassion.
"Last night at MC we talked about God's holiness and loving-kindness, and how, most of the time those are seen as mutually exclusive when they're really not. To get to the heart of the lies, we split into 2 groups, with one delving into why we see God as holy, distant, and powerful but not loving, and the other group into why they see God as loving and nice, but not demanding justice.
"In our group we talked about the different mental images we have of God related to the lies we believe. We came up with 3 different mental images.
1) God laughs at us when we're in pain
2) God shakes his head in righteous disappointment when we mess up
3) God is stone-faced, mechanical, and systematic, kicking consequences into action whenever we mess up, only caring about the lessons we're learning in the process of living life, and not caring about our hearts or any enjoyment we may get out of life.
"Mine was the 3rd. What was incredible was that the Cross and the resurrection destroy all 3 of those lies and false images of God. The way it destroys mine is that a detached, emotionless God would not send his Son to the Cross to save me from death. A "learn your lessons" kind of God would let me die so I'd "learn" the consequences of my sin.
"It was also pretty incredible to see that the Cross and Jesus blow the "weak, loving" idea of God out of the water too. A weak God who does not enforce his own laws would not demand justice from His one and only Son. There is value in redemption, and the cost is very high. It is costly love , and it is overwhelming, irresistible love."
God is both holy and faithful in his loving-kindness. We are so sinful that Christ HAD to die. God is so loving that He was glad to send His Son in our place.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thoughts on 9/11
I was reading Psalm 37 this morning and it struck me how appropriate this Psalm is for the anniversary of 9/11. With all the swirls of talk, anger, and hurt that are surrounding some of the recent news on ground zero and the anniversary of a tragedy, I believe that there is heightened emotion on this 9th anniversary, more than even the past couple of years.
The anger and hurt in the hearts of the families who are sharply remembering their losses today is legitimate. What took place 9 years ago on this day was absolutely horrific, and totally unjust. Men, women, and children suffered and died because of war and hate that has built up for centuries. Families lost their fathers, their mothers, their beloved members. The United States of America was pierced to the heart, and very shaken. For my own part, I remember seeing life through a veil of fear for a time, feeling that even my home was not a safe place to be.
The cry for justice is very good. We have a sense of justice woven into the core of our beings, and when tragedies and crimes occur like the 9/11 attacks in New York City, Pennsylvania, and Washington, D.C., it is a good thing that our hearts know so strongly that this is not how things were meant to be. We desire justice - vengeance against evildoers, and healing for the hurt.
From Psalm 37, verse 4 is often quoted in the church. "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." This verse is usually said while speaking to someone who wants something very strongly, such as a husband, the ability to provide for a family, good education for children... However, this Psalm is not speaking to those types of desires. It is a Psalm written to those who are desperately seeking justice, to those whose hearts writhe and cringe at the mere thought of an evil man prospering in his ways. The "desires of your heart," in this Psalm, means the deep desires for justice.
Delight yourself in the LORD... is that truly what God asks us to do when pain and humiliation are torturing our hearts, and the only thought in our minds is that something would come down from the heavens and destroy the person who has committed evil against us?
I think that that command does not make sense to the human mind unless it is placed in the context of the grand narrative that God himself is writing.
God is a God of justice. We possess a deep desire for justice to be done because He made us in his image. However, when we allow that desire for justice to become self-righteous anger, rage, and hatred, we have usurped his throne of justice and tried to take his place as the One who will repay. Evil with evil, good with good.
I love this Psalm because it does not belittle the desire for vengeance. Its message is not "don't be angry." Its message is (8-9) "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. FOR THE EVILDOERS SHALL BE CUT OFF, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land" (caps lock mine). Instead of trying to take God's place as the one who deals righteously and repays evil, we are called in this Psalm to wait at the feet of the LORD, for his action, for his might, for his justice.
Those who trust in the LORD will eventually see true and total justice reign in this land. When we let anger take root, we end up generalizing that anger toward an entire people group, instead of waiting for God to judge rightly.
The bottom line is that God is a God of justice. Evil WILL eventually be destroyed by one of two ways: Either the evildoer will continue in his ways without repenting, and he will spend eternity suffering in hell, OR he will repent. In the latter case, God the Just will place every evil action of his on Jesus, whose shoulders bore up the full weight of the world's sins on the Cross. His death and resurrection is the ultimate expression of justice from the just God.
On this anniversary of an evil tragedy, grieve and cry to God for justice and peace. But do not allow bitterness to take root, and turn into generalizations of hatred toward people who look like the ones who committed that evil act. Trust that the LORD knows evil from good, and will bring restoration and justice in full, at the coming of Christ the King.
The anger and hurt in the hearts of the families who are sharply remembering their losses today is legitimate. What took place 9 years ago on this day was absolutely horrific, and totally unjust. Men, women, and children suffered and died because of war and hate that has built up for centuries. Families lost their fathers, their mothers, their beloved members. The United States of America was pierced to the heart, and very shaken. For my own part, I remember seeing life through a veil of fear for a time, feeling that even my home was not a safe place to be.
The cry for justice is very good. We have a sense of justice woven into the core of our beings, and when tragedies and crimes occur like the 9/11 attacks in New York City, Pennsylvania, and Washington, D.C., it is a good thing that our hearts know so strongly that this is not how things were meant to be. We desire justice - vengeance against evildoers, and healing for the hurt.
From Psalm 37, verse 4 is often quoted in the church. "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." This verse is usually said while speaking to someone who wants something very strongly, such as a husband, the ability to provide for a family, good education for children... However, this Psalm is not speaking to those types of desires. It is a Psalm written to those who are desperately seeking justice, to those whose hearts writhe and cringe at the mere thought of an evil man prospering in his ways. The "desires of your heart," in this Psalm, means the deep desires for justice.
Delight yourself in the LORD... is that truly what God asks us to do when pain and humiliation are torturing our hearts, and the only thought in our minds is that something would come down from the heavens and destroy the person who has committed evil against us?
I think that that command does not make sense to the human mind unless it is placed in the context of the grand narrative that God himself is writing.
God is a God of justice. We possess a deep desire for justice to be done because He made us in his image. However, when we allow that desire for justice to become self-righteous anger, rage, and hatred, we have usurped his throne of justice and tried to take his place as the One who will repay. Evil with evil, good with good.
I love this Psalm because it does not belittle the desire for vengeance. Its message is not "don't be angry." Its message is (8-9) "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. FOR THE EVILDOERS SHALL BE CUT OFF, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land" (caps lock mine). Instead of trying to take God's place as the one who deals righteously and repays evil, we are called in this Psalm to wait at the feet of the LORD, for his action, for his might, for his justice.
Those who trust in the LORD will eventually see true and total justice reign in this land. When we let anger take root, we end up generalizing that anger toward an entire people group, instead of waiting for God to judge rightly.
The bottom line is that God is a God of justice. Evil WILL eventually be destroyed by one of two ways: Either the evildoer will continue in his ways without repenting, and he will spend eternity suffering in hell, OR he will repent. In the latter case, God the Just will place every evil action of his on Jesus, whose shoulders bore up the full weight of the world's sins on the Cross. His death and resurrection is the ultimate expression of justice from the just God.
On this anniversary of an evil tragedy, grieve and cry to God for justice and peace. But do not allow bitterness to take root, and turn into generalizations of hatred toward people who look like the ones who committed that evil act. Trust that the LORD knows evil from good, and will bring restoration and justice in full, at the coming of Christ the King.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Grace and Promise
Thoughts from Romans 4:
God is the Master Storyteller. As a picture of the salvation to come in Jesus, he took Sarah's dead womb and brought it to life, knitting Abraham's child of promise together in that womb that was once dead, unable to nurture life. In Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, He takes hold of our dead hearts and breathes life in them. We are children of Promise, of Abraham, of God's action on our behalf; not of our own action.
Abraham's efforts to become a father (through impregnating his wife's servant) did not make him the father of Israel. Waiting in faith for God to bring life to Sarah's dead womb was what made him the father of the Promise - the Promise of the New Covenant in Jesus.
"Sin didn't, and doesn't, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it's sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that's the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life - a life that goes on and on and on, world without end."
Romans 5:20-21, The Message Remix
God is the Master Storyteller. As a picture of the salvation to come in Jesus, he took Sarah's dead womb and brought it to life, knitting Abraham's child of promise together in that womb that was once dead, unable to nurture life. In Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, He takes hold of our dead hearts and breathes life in them. We are children of Promise, of Abraham, of God's action on our behalf; not of our own action.
Abraham's efforts to become a father (through impregnating his wife's servant) did not make him the father of Israel. Waiting in faith for God to bring life to Sarah's dead womb was what made him the father of the Promise - the Promise of the New Covenant in Jesus.
"Sin didn't, and doesn't, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it's sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that's the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life - a life that goes on and on and on, world without end."
Romans 5:20-21, The Message Remix
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
What if the Gospel were true? Part 2
Getting practical is not my strength. I would rather think in big picture terms/ideas. This morning I got to take my post from yesterday to two women in my church (Missio Dei Communities) and ask for their help in "getting practical." In other words, taking these deep, wide, incredibly far-reaching truths of the Gospel of Jesus and finishing the "what if..." question with a "then I would do such and such..." I'm thankful that God is a relational God who made us with the need to live in community with other people and then has provided me with a rich community of people who love him and have shown love to me as well.
We only worked through the first truth I wrote down yesterday, and we talked for over two hours on the implications of that one truth.
What if...
1) the Father has qualified me to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light? (Colossians 1:12)
What is the inheritance?
- the Holy Spirit
- a degree of wholeness now, with full wholeness to come (some healing of brokenness, some satisfaction of loneliness, true enjoyment of good things)
- Freedom to not sin (we are incapable of anything good on our own, so being set free by Jesus' perfect sacrifice allows us to act in a right way)
- God's family (part of our inheritance is that we get to live in community with other adopted sons and daughters of God - we are not alone)
- Knowledge of the hidden mysteries of God - the stuff that angels long to understand.
The word "qualified" hit each of us this morning really hard. The truth of our situation, the "human condition," is that we are all inherently sinful as a result of the Fall. Christians often talk about the love of God - God loving us in spite of our sin. I more rarely talk about God qualifying us in spite of our sin. This morning we talked about that image of being qualified, putting it in the context of an employer/employee relationship. God calls us qualified for the position of his child even though we have no skills, knowledge, or competency for that role. He places the skills, knowledge, competency and identity of his Son on us, covering us with His qualifications, making us fit because we could never get their on our own.
The practical context we discussed this morning was the receiving and enjoying of good gifts. Personally, I often feel guilty when I am enjoying good things in life, like I have to justify the enjoyment in front of God, or hide my enjoyment of a good thing from him so that he won't take it away. At the root of this is a misunderstanding of God's character as perfectly Good and as a giver of Good Gifts. It is also a misunderstanding of my own ability to deserve things, and of my own sinfulness, and of how much God loves me in spite of that sinfulness.
I am sinful
God has qualified me with Christ's perfect qualifications
God loves me as His beloved, qualified daughter
God is great at giving good gifts
When he removes good gifts or declines to give them, it is for our good, because his character as the Good God never changes
I don't need to try to qualify myself for his good gifts, because I have never been able to do so and never will be on my own effort. I can enjoy them freely knowing that God is a good Father, he has qualified me to be his daughter, and good Fathers love to watch their children enjoying something good that they have given them. There is no need for guilt at the enjoyment of a good thing from the hand of a good God. It gives him glory and happiness when we are happy with something good, because he is the author of Good.
We only worked through the first truth I wrote down yesterday, and we talked for over two hours on the implications of that one truth.
What if...
1) the Father has qualified me to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light? (Colossians 1:12)
What is the inheritance?
- the Holy Spirit
- a degree of wholeness now, with full wholeness to come (some healing of brokenness, some satisfaction of loneliness, true enjoyment of good things)
- Freedom to not sin (we are incapable of anything good on our own, so being set free by Jesus' perfect sacrifice allows us to act in a right way)
- God's family (part of our inheritance is that we get to live in community with other adopted sons and daughters of God - we are not alone)
- Knowledge of the hidden mysteries of God - the stuff that angels long to understand.
The word "qualified" hit each of us this morning really hard. The truth of our situation, the "human condition," is that we are all inherently sinful as a result of the Fall. Christians often talk about the love of God - God loving us in spite of our sin. I more rarely talk about God qualifying us in spite of our sin. This morning we talked about that image of being qualified, putting it in the context of an employer/employee relationship. God calls us qualified for the position of his child even though we have no skills, knowledge, or competency for that role. He places the skills, knowledge, competency and identity of his Son on us, covering us with His qualifications, making us fit because we could never get their on our own.
The practical context we discussed this morning was the receiving and enjoying of good gifts. Personally, I often feel guilty when I am enjoying good things in life, like I have to justify the enjoyment in front of God, or hide my enjoyment of a good thing from him so that he won't take it away. At the root of this is a misunderstanding of God's character as perfectly Good and as a giver of Good Gifts. It is also a misunderstanding of my own ability to deserve things, and of my own sinfulness, and of how much God loves me in spite of that sinfulness.
I am sinful
God has qualified me with Christ's perfect qualifications
God loves me as His beloved, qualified daughter
God is great at giving good gifts
When he removes good gifts or declines to give them, it is for our good, because his character as the Good God never changes
I don't need to try to qualify myself for his good gifts, because I have never been able to do so and never will be on my own effort. I can enjoy them freely knowing that God is a good Father, he has qualified me to be his daughter, and good Fathers love to watch their children enjoying something good that they have given them. There is no need for guilt at the enjoyment of a good thing from the hand of a good God. It gives him glory and happiness when we are happy with something good, because he is the author of Good.
Monday, July 5, 2010
What if the Gospel were true?
This blog post is a little "Gospel exercise" for me. Most of the time, I believe the Gospel only in an intellectual sense, and sometimes in an emotional sense. I am finding that my belief in Christ, and Him crucified and risen again, rarely gets expressed in my actions and thought processes. I much more quickly turn to anxiety and control over "leading a good Christian life" instead of reflecting on the Gospel and allowing Christ to change me through his Holy Spirit indwelling me. What I am doing with this exercise is turning what is absolutely true in the Gospel around as a question. I am asking myself "What if the Gospel were true?" as a way of reflecting on what the Gospel means in my daily life. I used the first few chapters of Colossians for scripture references of the Gospel of Jesus.
What if...
The Father has qualified me to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light? (Col. 1:12)
My Savior, Jesus, is supreme, over all of Creation and created beings, and holds all things together in Himself? (1:15-18)
I am truly reconciled to the Father through the blood of Christ, because of the joyful willingness of the Father (He deeply wanted it to happen)? (1:19-20)
I am holy in the Father's sight, without blemish and free from accusation? (1:21-22)
I have ultimate hope through His ultimate love? (1:23)
All labor is filtered first through this gracious Gospel? (all of my effort is a "because this is true, then I do ___) (1:28-2:7)
I don't have to rely on coping mechanisms, rules, religions and empty thoughts/philosophies anymore? (2:8)
My sins are truly forgiven, were fully forgiven on the Cross? (2:13-14)
Christ is my ultimate authority, not the opinion of others, even the opinion of respected mentors? (2:15)
I am free to truly enjoy delights of the senses, to the glory of God and not of indulgence? (2:20-23)
I am free to focus no longer on solving problems in my daily life, but instead to rejoice in how Jesus is the answer to all problems now, as well as in the hope for their ultimate closure in the coming Restoration (when Jesus comes back to bring justice and peace to the Nations of the world)? (3:1-4)
Putting off evil actions is the natural result of something deeper being done for me, not a "to-do" list of my own foolish efforts at saving myself? (Colossians 3-end)
Doing what pleases God is the result of thankfulness for all He has done, including a totally new heart so that I have any hope at all of doing good? (3:1-4)
Prayer was in thankfulness? (4:2)
Grace is with me? (4:18)
Next step of the project... writing out practical answers for that question: "What if the Gospel were true?" Example "Since Christ is my ultimate authority (2:15) I do not have to fear the opinion of others, but can look at human advice and opinion through the lens of: does it line up with the truth of the Gospel? And if it does not, I don't have to let the opinion of others rule my emotions and action, but can freely accept or reject opinions and advice according to their true worth.
More later :)
What if...
The Father has qualified me to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light? (Col. 1:12)
My Savior, Jesus, is supreme, over all of Creation and created beings, and holds all things together in Himself? (1:15-18)
I am truly reconciled to the Father through the blood of Christ, because of the joyful willingness of the Father (He deeply wanted it to happen)? (1:19-20)
I am holy in the Father's sight, without blemish and free from accusation? (1:21-22)
I have ultimate hope through His ultimate love? (1:23)
All labor is filtered first through this gracious Gospel? (all of my effort is a "because this is true, then I do ___) (1:28-2:7)
I don't have to rely on coping mechanisms, rules, religions and empty thoughts/philosophies anymore? (2:8)
My sins are truly forgiven, were fully forgiven on the Cross? (2:13-14)
Christ is my ultimate authority, not the opinion of others, even the opinion of respected mentors? (2:15)
I am free to truly enjoy delights of the senses, to the glory of God and not of indulgence? (2:20-23)
I am free to focus no longer on solving problems in my daily life, but instead to rejoice in how Jesus is the answer to all problems now, as well as in the hope for their ultimate closure in the coming Restoration (when Jesus comes back to bring justice and peace to the Nations of the world)? (3:1-4)
Putting off evil actions is the natural result of something deeper being done for me, not a "to-do" list of my own foolish efforts at saving myself? (Colossians 3-end)
Doing what pleases God is the result of thankfulness for all He has done, including a totally new heart so that I have any hope at all of doing good? (3:1-4)
Prayer was in thankfulness? (4:2)
Grace is with me? (4:18)
Next step of the project... writing out practical answers for that question: "What if the Gospel were true?" Example "Since Christ is my ultimate authority (2:15) I do not have to fear the opinion of others, but can look at human advice and opinion through the lens of: does it line up with the truth of the Gospel? And if it does not, I don't have to let the opinion of others rule my emotions and action, but can freely accept or reject opinions and advice according to their true worth.
More later :)
Friday, May 28, 2010
"Garden" by Needtobreathe
"Won’t you take this cup from me
‘Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you’ll save their souls with it
"Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you"
This song breathes the type of sacrifice that is rare in love these days. Sometimes you can catch a taste of true self-sacrifice in love, like in mundane moments when you see a Mom giving up comfort to take care of her puking child, or in big Readers Digest kind of moments when you hear about the girl who becomes paralyzed and her fiance who gives up everything to care for her in spite of drastically changed dreams. Those tastes are so good... and sometimes I get blown away when I realize that the fullness of that taste is found in Jesus' love. The first words in this song are straight out of the Garden of Gethsemene, as Jesus prayed for the cup of the Passion to pass from Him if there were any other way for God to tell His Story of redemption... and in the same breath, in that agony, we see Jesus praying with unfathomable submission for the will of God to be done. I'm amazed that the will of God, the Great Story that he wants to tell, is so rich with love, and that this sacrificial love was essential if the Story was to be told. The lengths that God went to in order to show us that love...
If the first part of the song I posted is breathtaking in its bigness and can only move me to worship such a big and good God, the second part rings closer to my heart in that it feels like a prayer I am trying to remember to pray more and more often. In essence that prayer is that my Father would free my heart to be able to worship Him instead of puny idols that I easily replace Him with. It's astounding, really, how quickly I put up the cheap little god-replacements even while knowing that they will fail, that they have no love, that they aren't even alive or real most of the time. It's amazing to me how quickly I choose to slave away at winning or keeping other people's approval instead of choosing to spend my time at the feet of Him who has already proven that He accepts me, and LOVES me with that consuming, refining, sacrificial fire of a true Lover.
My prayer is to my Father, that He would let my heart be after Him, and not chasing after stupid replacements for Him, becoming exhausted as I catch them and lose them over and over again. He has already defeated the grave and risen again, doing everything that was necessary to save me from myself. I don't need to chase Him down because He has already chased me down. I only need to turn toward Him and take His hand, and let Him invite me into the dance.
‘Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you’ll save their souls with it
"Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you"
This song breathes the type of sacrifice that is rare in love these days. Sometimes you can catch a taste of true self-sacrifice in love, like in mundane moments when you see a Mom giving up comfort to take care of her puking child, or in big Readers Digest kind of moments when you hear about the girl who becomes paralyzed and her fiance who gives up everything to care for her in spite of drastically changed dreams. Those tastes are so good... and sometimes I get blown away when I realize that the fullness of that taste is found in Jesus' love. The first words in this song are straight out of the Garden of Gethsemene, as Jesus prayed for the cup of the Passion to pass from Him if there were any other way for God to tell His Story of redemption... and in the same breath, in that agony, we see Jesus praying with unfathomable submission for the will of God to be done. I'm amazed that the will of God, the Great Story that he wants to tell, is so rich with love, and that this sacrificial love was essential if the Story was to be told. The lengths that God went to in order to show us that love...
If the first part of the song I posted is breathtaking in its bigness and can only move me to worship such a big and good God, the second part rings closer to my heart in that it feels like a prayer I am trying to remember to pray more and more often. In essence that prayer is that my Father would free my heart to be able to worship Him instead of puny idols that I easily replace Him with. It's astounding, really, how quickly I put up the cheap little god-replacements even while knowing that they will fail, that they have no love, that they aren't even alive or real most of the time. It's amazing to me how quickly I choose to slave away at winning or keeping other people's approval instead of choosing to spend my time at the feet of Him who has already proven that He accepts me, and LOVES me with that consuming, refining, sacrificial fire of a true Lover.
My prayer is to my Father, that He would let my heart be after Him, and not chasing after stupid replacements for Him, becoming exhausted as I catch them and lose them over and over again. He has already defeated the grave and risen again, doing everything that was necessary to save me from myself. I don't need to chase Him down because He has already chased me down. I only need to turn toward Him and take His hand, and let Him invite me into the dance.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
New Blog!
Welcome to my new blog! My old site (https://amys.blog.asu.edu/) is about to be deleted, so this is where all the future World Wide Web translations of my thoughts will be posted. I posted the most recent blog I wrote from my old site, about the movie Avatar, here as well. If you want a copy of any of my old posts let me know and I'd be happy to send it.
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