"Garden" by Needtobreathe

"Won’t you take this cup from me
‘Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you’ll save their souls with it

"Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you"

This song breathes the type of sacrifice that is rare in love these days. Sometimes you can catch a taste of true self-sacrifice in love, like in mundane moments when you see a Mom giving up comfort to take care of her puking child, or in big Readers Digest kind of moments when you hear about the girl who becomes paralyzed and her fiance who gives up everything to care for her in spite of drastically changed dreams. Those tastes are so good... and sometimes I get blown away when I realize that the fullness of that taste is found in Jesus' love. The first words in this song are straight out of the Garden of Gethsemene, as Jesus prayed for the cup of the Passion to pass from Him if there were any other way for God to tell His Story of redemption... and in the same breath, in that agony, we see Jesus praying with unfathomable submission for the will of God to be done. I'm amazed that the will of God, the Great Story that he wants to tell, is so rich with love, and that this sacrificial love was essential if the Story was to be told. The lengths that God went to in order to show us that love...

If the first part of the song I posted is breathtaking in its bigness and can only move me to worship such a big and good God, the second part rings closer to my heart in that it feels like a prayer I am trying to remember to pray more and more often. In essence that prayer is that my Father would free my heart to be able to worship Him instead of puny idols that I easily replace Him with. It's astounding, really, how quickly I put up the cheap little god-replacements even while knowing that they will fail, that they have no love, that they aren't even alive or real most of the time. It's amazing to me how quickly I choose to slave away at winning or keeping other people's approval instead of choosing to spend my time at the feet of Him who has already proven that He accepts me, and LOVES me with that consuming, refining, sacrificial fire of a true Lover.

My prayer is to my Father, that He would let my heart be after Him, and not chasing after stupid replacements for Him, becoming exhausted as I catch them and lose them over and over again. He has already defeated the grave and risen again, doing everything that was necessary to save me from myself. I don't need to chase Him down because He has already chased me down. I only need to turn toward Him and take His hand, and let Him invite me into the dance.